QotD

"I once was told when I was a teenager that if you ... you know, what teenaged boys like to do to themselves ... if you do it with your left hand if you're right-handed, then it feels like somebody else's hand. But it doesn't; it feels like somebody else's willy!" -- Craig Ferguson, on the CBS television program The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson, aired 2009-01-22 (taped 2009-01-21, I assume).